Recently I shared a story about cycling and depression over at ZwiftBlog.com. In the weeks that followed my world blew up a bit. People began contacting me left and right saying that they too deal with depression or another chronic illness. Some have said my writing has helped them understand depression a bit better. Person after person from the UK, Canada, Japan, Australia, near and far have been incredibly encouraging. “Ride On!” “Keep it up!” “Keep sharing!”
It got me thinking about the time I was spelunking in high school. We all turned our headlamps off and it was so incredibly dark you literally couldn’t see your hand just an inch from your nose. But then one little lamp came on further down the line and everything changed. You could see. It wasn’t bright, but it was no longer completely dark. I believe it’s like this for depression too. When you don’t talk about depression it stays in the dark and so do you. When you shine even just a little bit of light on it, it’s not as dark. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt as bad, or that it doesn’t hit as hard, but for me shining a light on it means it’s less daunting. It means I feel less alone. It means I can push through and make better choices through it.
Knowing there are many places in the Bible that talk about light and darkness I decided to look some up. One of my favorites is Psalm 139:7-12– “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,’ Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.” Can you even picture that? In that dark, dark cave where I couldn’t see my own hand He could see perfectly as though it was day. And in that dark, dark place my head goes to when I’m slumped on the floor wishing the depression would go away? He can see in and through me as though there is no darkness. I can’t run away from him! I can’t be too dark for Him! So thankful for that! So thankful!
So what is your story? Today you should share the part that needs some light shone on it. I started small. I started with one person. You can do that too. Share with someone safe and share it with God. Even though He already knows your story it makes a world of difference to speak it back to Him, acknowledging what’s going on.
6 thoughts on “Light and Darkness”
Shine a little light on it…absolutely! You’re doing good stuff here and I so appreciate it. As I walk along daily with anxiety and depression — voices like yours give me hope–shine a light in a dark place.
Love love love!!!
Beautifully written Megan. You do so much for others and I hope that can help too. When I’m in a bad place, I find that volunteering and being of service helps a lot. I agree that sharing helps to bring it in the light. I went through one of my roughest times in my whole life just recently and I did all the wrong things. I didn’t want to share my bad mood with others or share what I was going through, so I stayed in and kept to myself. It feels nearly impossible to get through it that way, but that’s where I was at. Thankfully exercise creates endorphins and that helps so much. Thank you for all you do in the Zwift community. We are here for YOU too!
Wow. This is so good. So comforting.
My story is that the Lord is speaking to me through the verses Pastor Garry spoke on a couple weeks ago-Phil 4:4, 6,7, 8, 11, 13, 19.
I struggle with being joyful (always), anxiousness (in all things) and self-doubt (in everything I do).
Listening to these verses again, knowing I was just a week away from my students’ piano recital, gave me the confidence I needed when I so desperately just want to crawl away and hide.
These past couple of weeks I have literally cried out these verses, because that is all I can do. Because that is what HE wants me to do. Come to Jesus.
I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thank you for sharing your story, sister.
Beautiful post. I also have enjoyed reading the comments. I think about such things myself. Way too often we hide and hang our heads in shame when we are in this kind of pain. It is so easy to think of ourselves as victims, with no power. Subconsciously, we believe the lies of the enemy that God can not help us. Posts like this remind us that a life lived victoriously in Christ is only accomplished by choosing to focus on the Truths of God, as revealed in scripture. It is a call to action…and also to authenticity. My prayer is that we give ourselves permission to do that, to be real in sharing, encouraging and praying for one another. Scripture tells us that in confessing our weaknesses to God, and one another, that we are healed. I know God is doing awesome wonders among us already, so let’s seek His face together on this <3
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